Elijah had just come from wreaking havoc on his enemies. He had proved that Yahweh was the one God. Even after the altar and sacrifice had been doused with so much water that it filled the ditch around the platform, the fire of God came and consumed the sacrifice. Elijah felt powerful. Elijah felt victorious. Elijah felt popular. He was dizzy with the glory of his victory.
But within hours of his fantastic display of God's power and wrath, everything fell apart. The fickle rabble was roused by their queen's anger; Jezebel threatened Elijah's life; and Elijah, completely exhausted by the events of the day, became discouraged and disillusioned by the fleeting and apparent insignificant nature of his victory against the prophets of Baal. With his courage and strength depleted, Elijah fled, ostensibly from Jezebel.
Elijah ran away. Perhaps his flight was instigated by Jezebel's threat. But certainly Elijah was running away from much more than Jezebel. Elijah ran from the difficulty of his calling. Elijah ran away from the indifference he perceived among the Hebrews in general. Elijah ran from his own uncertainty and insecurity. Elijah ran from the fire of God on the mountain as much as he ran from Jezebel.
Leaving his servant behind in the last outpost of civilization, Elijah entered the wilderness. Struggling onward, he finally collapsed beneath a broom tree, without even the will to continue living, much less speaking the word of God. "It is enough." I give up. It is only with supernatural assistance that Elijah is able to continue into the wilderness -- his own normal, human resources are entirely consumed.
After a great deal of time wandering in the wilderness, tortured by his fear and needs, Elijah stumbles onto Mt. Horeb. The text makes it sound as though this arrival were almost accidental; that, at least on the part of Elijah, there was no intent to come to Mt. Horeb and hide in a cave. But to Horeb Elijah comes, a new Moses. Having trekked an agonizing course through the wilderness, full of self-doubt and insecurity, Elijah multiplies Moses' cleft in the rock to make a cave in which to hide from the world.
The word of God comes to Elijah, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah exaggerates in his whining complaint. "I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away."
True, Elijah had been very zealous, working hard, doing great things to honor and worship God and proclaim God's glory to the world. True, the people of Israel (who Elijah describes as though he were not one) had, as a nation, fallen from their calling to be a people holy to Yahweh. But Elijah was not the only one left.
Throughout the stories of the kingdoms and their iniquities, a remnant remains; a remnant of people faithful to Yahweh. Perhaps they were not public figures such as Elijah, but Elijah is incorrect in his belief that he is the only person left in his world who is still in faith with God. In fact, just a few verses later in this passage, in verse 18, God reveals that there were seven thousand folks in Israel who had remained faithful.
Elijah does not, perhaps is not able to speak about the real reasons he has come to hide on Horeb. He is tired and confused. He is disillusioned about his work and his people. After triumphing greatly and viciously over the priests of Baal, he has been scared away by the power of Jezebel and her intense anger. Elijah is in need; of reassurance, of self-confidence, of an affirmation of his calling. Elijah wants to be the only one left - Elijah wants to be unique in his relationship to God.
Come listen, Elijah. The Lord is about to pass by. A great wind came, splitting mountains and breaking apart rocks. But God was not in the wind. An earthquake came, shaking the mountain under Elijah's feet. But God was not in the earthquake. A raging fire came, crackling and burning. But God was not in the fire. God was not in those things or places that Elijah might have expected to find God. God was not in unusually powerful physical events. God was not to be found in these natural phenomena.
The wind, earthquake and fire passed, and there came a silence so still that it could be heard. Surrounded by the absolute dearth of all interruption, of all noise, of all natural wonders, Elijah was finally able to listen and hear. In and around himself, Elijah knew the presence of Yahweh. "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah repeats his plea for affirmation. And God says, "Go."
It can be very hard to get your bearings when Jezebel is threatening to have you killed. You might find it difficult to find motivation to oppose power like Jezebel's. In the face of intense anger combined with that power, you might just be scared enough to run and hide and abandon your job. Haven't we all, at some time or other, like Elijah been more aware of God's absence than God's presence.
Haven't we all found ourselves missing any palpable presence of God -- no miraculous phenomenon to encourage us, no soft touch to embrace us, no clear cut, unequivocal message about what we are to be about. Haven't we all found ourselves scared away by Jezebel and her friends from what we are called to be in this world; scared away by our lack of confidence in our human abilities, scared by what we are afraid others will think of us.
Scared of what the world might do to us if we are true to our callings, scared that our efforts will "fail", i.e., that they will not bring to us measures of success as measured by our society. Scared that without huge numbers, or large budgets, or political victories, we might be seen as failures by the world. Scared to be different, scared to speak the gospel, scared to come out from behind those closed doors, scared of tongues of flame that dance on the wind, scared of crosses more than any imaginary vampire.
Scared of commitment, scared of each other, scared of our feelings, scared of our God. Wandering through wildernesses on occasion so overcome by our fears that we have no will to continue in the way. Wandering onto holy mountains, shod on holy ground, hiding from holy presence in holy caves, living on holy food and watching holy processions. Finding what is holy in ourselves only in the absence of anything other in creation. Only in the stillness of sheer silence, finally being able to hear God speak in us.
I'm not sure that Elijah was not still scared silly when he left Horeb. But he left. He found Elisha. He continued in his calling. I'm not sure that we can find full relief from our fears. I'm not sure that release from fear is desireable. Courage is acting in the face of fear. Without fear, courage does not exist. Bravery and stupidity probably actually do run very close parallel courses. To be brave involves being aware of the dangers, the consequences, and intentionally facing the fear. Being unaware of danger is ignorance, not courage.
And so Elijah leaves still afraid. We travel through our lives moving in and out of fear. In our society, in this place, among us, probably one of our greatest fears is what others will think of us. And we may be right. Others may think poorly of us. They may think we are crazy or stupid or weak or whatever. Courage will allow us to follow God's calling no matter what our society will think.
Bravery must be a spiritual gift. In receiving it, we are able to make our first priority the call to faithfulness rather than the appearance of societal regularity. May God give us the grace to face our fears and live and move through them, remaining faithful to God and to what God calls us to be.
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